Writings

Dhammalogue no.11


A Sunday Dhammalogue... 
Dhammalogue no.11
Igor: Hi honey, this weekend our Dhammalogue got pushed by life to this last corner of Sunday. We finished yesterday the first retreat of the year and your sweet parents came to visit us for a few days. After 24 hours of settling in your mum has already baked a cake after rearranging the kitchen and your dad has changed a couple of lightbulbs and fixed a clock. A common factor of the expats living down here is that we rarely have our families around, which makes these brief visits even more meaningful. Tell me a bit about living abroad, how do you integrate the missing and the melancholy that years passing brings into life into the idea of being happy.

Jenny: Well, me living abroad is no accident coincidence or something that just happened, I have chosen to be an expat. It's a choice that after the last attempt in Sweden clearly showed me is a better fit, and one that makes me happy in general. That being said, I of course have melancholic feelings when looking back towards 'The old country', and being close to my parents. Every time I see them I realize that they are aging and it feels hard to not be more present in their lives. But I am here and I don't see that changing anytime soon, so I work to include the missing and the melancholy within the framework of happiness.

I: It's something that we find difficult, the skill of coexisting with two opposing feelings, sadness and joy simultaneously, but it is often that way...

J: In the end we will choose what makes sense for us, what feels more conducive to what we want to experience and feel in life and if it so happens that your yearnings takes you towards living close to what you always knew as home, or move back there after exploring the options then that is a good choice, but if, like in my case, the dreams of your parents do not resemble your own, it is imperative that you follow your own heart, after all we must live our lives. That is the sound advice I have always gotten from my wonderful parents.

I: And I know that they have suffered when following their advice has taken you far from them, but still they were happy for you and that it their biggest gift to you. Now they are asleep, looking forward spending tomorrow with them again. We too must rest now. Savasana :)

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