Writings

Injured


I have injured my back, am not quite sure how it happened since I didn't feel it at the time. I suspect that it was the getting down to Swedish House Maffia on Friday evening, where my 'teenage-like-feeling-it' enthusiasm must have overrided the warning signs, so I didn't notice how or when the back started protesting, and gradually during the weekend it has gotten more and more locked. So now I am confined, walking like an invalid needing help to do the most basic things, like getting out of bed and picking things up from the floor.
There is nothing more humbling and at the same time more conducive to practice as being injured. It's a state where one has to be continuously mindful in order not to get stuck or make it worse, both mentally and physically. Calculating every movement, holding bandhas amd breathing calmly while engaging in the smallest tasks like doing dishes or walking up the stairs. My remedy for now is to simply do long savasanas, bringing my mind to the injured area in order to understand what my back is going through, letting the breath penetrate the hurt so I can contribute to the healing process. Practicing patience and steadfastness of mind.

Another added benefit of this highly uncomfortable place is that here, is where empathy and compassion is born and cultivated. During the weekend we watched 'The theory of everything' and as I followed the struggIes of Mr Hawking as he was coming to terms with his body's deteriation I felt his pain and the suffering that he and all others who in some way have limited mobility are going through in a very real way, and Iomi, who has been a trouper and mommy's enthusiastic little helper stated it very clearly yesterday:
'Oh, mommy!' she said, 'I feel so much pain when you are in pain. It's like my back is hurting too!'
Yes, there is no better way to know the pain of others than to feel it yourself.

So today, armed with Tigerbalm and Ibuprofen I will give myself to the mat, spend the day in the company of my aching back and investigate what miracles my mind in partnership with the hours can do. And as always, I feel so grateful to yoga which moves me to be present in every part of life, even when it hurts, and which so kindly allows me to readjust my attitude so I can see the opportunities hidden in my dilemmas.

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