Writings

Sex-the female orgasm part 2


Why sex and orgasm ties so neatly to yoga is because the anatomy of the orgasm is very much in the mind. The mind is what is blocking us most of the times we're unable to experience carnal pleasure.
Sex-the female orgasm part 2
On the one hand we have all these taboos around the subject, but as a counter expression of that, we also find ourselves in a time when sex is all over the place and as a direct consquence of that we have massive expectations on it. If our sexual adventures consist only of the weekly Saturday rump missionary style, we deem it and us as boring and unimaginative. Should we not take advantage of the rich variety offered, we feel wrong somehow and are advised to spice things up a bit and dress our bedroom insecurities in velvet and whips. No wonder our poor mind gets a bit crosswired, as if it was not enough to deal with the puritanism and morale around the subject, now we also have these heightened expectations to block us.
Yoga really helps to restore the face of sexy right back to basics, back in to the body. To reconnect the orgasmic experience to the physical brings it home again and allows us to strip it from it's many masks because in the end, although the sexual spark may be ignited in the mind, we feel it in the body, so to bring our attention to feeling instead of thinking as we do in yoga, simplifies our sexual exploration. When we focus our mind in the body, it opens up and we get to know it from an experiential place, not from drawings of our anatomy but from the sensation we become aware of. The groin is no exception. As I prescribed in an earlier blog, to simply lay down with a bare pelvis and inquire in to the sensations around your sexual areas is very useful. To honestly recognize what you feel there, arousal, numbness, pain, discomfort... and work towards accepting the mixed bag of health and dysfunction that make up your sexuality is a very potent practice. Our sexuality is linked to our root chakra, and when we open up to the powerful energy there, learn to harness and become skilful at directing it, orgasms can reveal healing, restorative and liberating properties.

I think that the aspect of yogic committement that has proven most helpful to me, is honesty. I don't know how many times I previously dodged uncomfortable scenarios and conversations around the topic by simply massaging the truth a little bit. Even in solitude, excuses and procrastination would kidnap my mind and conveniently postpone any investigation of my damaged sexuality. That is how uncomfortable it felt. When I eventually musterd up the courage to think and talk about it, to face my fears, insecurities and dogmas, sexuality got less dramatic, approachable and even humorous. And once there was less drama, I felt free to work with my body, to learn to access it's buttons and areas of pleasure, to defuse the stories in my mind about all the shoulds and shouldnt's and get down to the business of enjoying and approach sex with a more open mind. It's been a very long and difficult road, but I am so glad I embarked upon it.
I really think we need to open to our sexuality. Admit to what it is for us, acknowledge the damage if there is any and work at resolving whatever conflict lies there. Regardless if we choose to never have sex again or to become polyamorous, it needs to be treated like any other arena of our psychology, with delicate kindness and brutal honesty.

To experience orgasms ties in to our ability to let go, to loose control and to give in fully to situations. The mind of the controlling person is a mind of insecurity and insecurity is a product of our mistrust towards ourselves and towards others. So to come, or cum as it is nowdays referred to, means to trust that however you want to have sex, on clean sheets with the lights switched off or with multiple partners in front of an audience, is OK. To remove the guilt and fog around it, just be completely honest with yourself and your partner(s), even if it's inconvenient, and as long as you don't hurt yourself or others in your process, the road to orgasm could be a quite enlightening one.

Writings

Welcome to our writing where we will share our thoughts and practices with you.

Latest posts