Writings

The importance of circumstance


We're back in our little farmhouse in the windy land of the Algarve and it feels so good. If I have sounded gloomy the last couple of entries it's probably because of not being feeling at home.
This last visit to Sweden has in many ways clarified things for me. To put it simply, being in Sweden provokes in me a feeling of not fitting in. Could be because of the vast difference of living standards between me and the average Swede or my history with the country. Meaning, both the feeling that what to the average Swede is average, to me feels luxurious and frankly makes me feels a bit jealous, and the fact that it's tricky to believe that you can grow wings when you are constantly gravity bound by the belief system of your history. I do feel so much more at home here, in the comfort of my own simplicity, more free to be myself. You will know that I am enlightened the day we settle down in a small cabin in the woods of Sweden...

Had another wonderful talk with Iomi. We spoke about life in the deepest and I must admit she actually surprised me with her understanding. She is now fully aware, thanks to our stubborn indoctrination, that me and and Igor are her main teachers and I take that responsibility seriously. She gets the absolute best of me, because I really care for her happiness. I am a co-creator in giving her the possibility of enjoying life through intelligence, compassion and courage. And since my love is such, I want to do anything I can to assist her, so I give her my all.
I suppose she is my main practice. The one of unconditional love in a relationship where temptation of both craving and aversion is present since the responsibility and attachment that comes in the wake of the bond, is so great that it can be mistaken for ownership. The Buddha was no fool, so when he renounced fatherhood he was probably aware that he by that step had chosen to become a monk. But that is not the reality for most of us. Most of us choose to stay in the midst of life where intimate relation with the world and yourself in it, is at the centre of our choice. So if we are in some way looking for truth and meaning we must eventually look to our lives, every single detail of our circumstance, as our teacher, and ourselves as perpetual students of the challenges and cicumstance offered. And if the circumstance offers something as awesome as a child to love, raise and assist, well then your teacher is him/her. Iomi is that for me. She teaches and gives me confidence in my ability to love and inspires me as a yogi and as a teacher, I mean, imagine if I could love all like I love her...enlightenment indeed.
I am very happy that parenthood was a conscious choice, that I was truly open and ready for this. It's a big choice, and like all of our choices it's important. Given that life becomes shorter the more we age and mature, the more we realise that what we choose is important and that in order to flourish and thrive in this what really is a speck of time and space, we need to be aware of who we are and what is the most useful circumstance for us to be in so we have a sporting chance of experiencing what it is we really want in life before we lie there on our death bead and with that last sigh realize that we missed it all because of fear...

I think that's why I love to live in this paradox that The Algarve offers. It gives me, by circumstance of being an outsider, a fuller freedom to explore and learn and simultaneously it has such an eccentric, electic mix of people so I am not automatically questioned because of my strangeness, since down here different is a norm. Reminds me in some ways of my years in NY, where during those young formative years felt like the monkey being let out in the jungle, except the jungle down here is lush green and more concerned with finding the fruits to pick off the ground, than mating and being voted the most succesful monkey around.
So, give importance to your choices. Don't automatically accept bullshit because you don't think you can't change. In this time of incredible possibilities where we are not automatically limited by the circumstances around our birth, the choice of giving life your full go seems the most appropriate way to appreciate, celebrate and your existence. And if you're in any way curious of eventually seeing what's beyond your jungle, thoroughly exploring it seems like a good first step.

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