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What are we searching for in yoga?


What are we searching for in yoga? Why do we do it?
What are we searching for in yoga?
It's good to ask yourself those questions. Keeps the practice real honest and in true perspective. Regardless of the answer, which simply can never be wrong, I think it is good to ponder upon them, so we don't keep fooling ourselves and our surroundings with false ideas of what we're really seeking. I thought for many years that what I wanted was the elusive enlightenment, but the truth is that that is not my main reason for practicing on a daily basis, and this is useful for me to know. So I can keep both my practice and teaching real.

I just saw a video of Osho a brilliant man and teacher, whose tantric reasoning resonates with me with where I am at in life. He was speaking about living life unbridled, not avoiding or censoring any aspect of who you are in order to gain the recognition of others or to fit in a comfortable mold. And how living with that kind of full clarity ceases the creation of ripples and shadows, of back thoughts, side thoughts and hidden agendas. He was speaking about how a Buddha is primarily misunderstood, which makes the world of sense to me because if everyone did understand, we would all be realised Buddhas, and I think we all know that is not so. So in our search for realisation or happiness or whatever spiritual mark we're looking towards, it is inevitable that we'll at some point be controversial and misunderstood and that is never easy, it takes a lot of courage.

I think that the entanglement with that particular issue, is where many of us are on our yoga journey. As we find out more of who we are, as we're granted access to more layers of our being, things tend to get a bit complicated, since we find when we start digging that in the depth of us there is a lot of inconvenient truth, politically incorrect opinions and shocking desires, so simply being oursleves fully starts to be very difficult.
Which one of the many selves should I portray on this occasion? How do I deal with being so paradoxical and uneven? With showing that both this and it's opposite, rhymes well with me? And since most of us have chosen to live out our quest for meaning right here, in the midst of all, indicating with our choice that we care for a life rich in content, in relationships and in experience, our growth, expanded awareness and growing confusion does not go unnoticed. And if it does not fit with what is socially acceptable, we will be judged. So we are tempted to either repress these new 'uncoveries', lie about them or radically change social setting in order to continue enjoy the comfort of approval. And it's at that steep where many of us get stuck. There are more and more yogis who have 'done this for a while' and who after the first honeymoon of yoga start to experience only the growing pains. Because growth, stretch, knowing and feeling more of course also brings greater pain in it's wake. And when feeling these growing pains, to face a life without the approval of our environment feels daunting, perhaps even terrifying.

I have a feeling that the new step or evolution of yoga is to get closer to that fear. To keep continuously shedding the burden of being liked and instead mantle the courage to be our radical selves fully and face the music and the pain that comes with it. Because being a Buddha is not convenient. Can not be.
So why are we practicing? What is it that we are searching for in yoga?

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